THE SPLORD

My blog for my movie reviews. Let's chat about film, ya'll
What I Learned From Watching ‘The Crying Game’ (Netflix)
-The poster does not help you out with what to expect from the movie
-It’s a song as well, apparently
-Miranda Richardson is has been cursed with a bitch face so she must always play a bitch
-Jim Broadbent is the best bartender ever
-More people should know who Stephen Rea is
-Hostage situations just usually don’t go that well
-Forest Whittaker does a decent British accent
*Worthy of the queue

What I Learned From Watching ‘The Crying Game’ (Netflix)

-The poster does not help you out with what to expect from the movie

-It’s a song as well, apparently

-Miranda Richardson is has been cursed with a bitch face so she must always play a bitch

-Jim Broadbent is the best bartender ever

-More people should know who Stephen Rea is

-Hostage situations just usually don’t go that well

-Forest Whittaker does a decent British accent

*Worthy of the queue

What I Learned From Watching ‘Fatal Attraction’ (Netflix)
-People don’t really like wearing pants
-Glenn Close is terrifying
-WHITE IS A REALLY IMPORTANT COLOR
-Whenever a family has 2 prominent pets in a film, you know one of them is gonna die
-The appeal of Michael Douglas is still unknown to me
-Apparently there wasn’t much consideration for mental illness in the 80s
-Not the best date night movie. Unless you wanna scare the poop out of your partner, then it’s great
-It’s okay that a husband cheats on his wife, just as long as the person he has an affair with isn’t crazy. But it’s definitely not his fault
-Opera can bring any types of people together
*You can let it rest in your queue for a while

What I Learned From Watching ‘Fatal Attraction’ (Netflix)

-People don’t really like wearing pants

-Glenn Close is terrifying

-WHITE IS A REALLY IMPORTANT COLOR

-Whenever a family has 2 prominent pets in a film, you know one of them is gonna die

-The appeal of Michael Douglas is still unknown to me

-Apparently there wasn’t much consideration for mental illness in the 80s

-Not the best date night movie. Unless you wanna scare the poop out of your partner, then it’s great

-It’s okay that a husband cheats on his wife, just as long as the person he has an affair with isn’t crazy. But it’s definitely not his fault

-Opera can bring any types of people together

*You can let it rest in your queue for a while

What I Learned From Watching ‘You’re Next’ (Netflix)
-It’s better watching it with friends than by yourself on a Sunday morning
-Australians are badass
-Getting the family together is never a good idea
-Family get-togethers = death
-Girls are better in survival situations than guys
-The director of ‘Drinking Buddies’ is in this (weird)
-It’s basically a less terrifying version of ‘The Strangers’
-Make sure you never get into a fight with an Australian because they will kill you
-Rich families are inevitably fucked up families
-They can actually make modern horror movies with a final girl character that you can actually like. Who knew
*Put in your queue for a fun movie night with friends

What I Learned From Watching ‘You’re Next’ (Netflix)

-It’s better watching it with friends than by yourself on a Sunday morning

-Australians are badass

-Getting the family together is never a good idea

-Family get-togethers = death

-Girls are better in survival situations than guys

-The director of ‘Drinking Buddies’ is in this (weird)

-It’s basically a less terrifying version of ‘The Strangers’

-Make sure you never get into a fight with an Australian because they will kill you

-Rich families are inevitably fucked up families

-They can actually make modern horror movies with a final girl character that you can actually like. Who knew

*Put in your queue for a fun movie night with friends

What I Learned From Watching ‘Pretty in Pink’—Netflix Queued
-The 80s were a great time
-Everyone needs a Duckie
-James Sapder is a very convincing douchebag
-Teenagers are much smarter than adults
-No matter what decade, there are always the same types of shitty people in high school
-You can somehow incorporate pink into every outfit you wear
-Missing out on romance in high school isn’t a bad thing
-80s hairstyles need to come back. Right. Now
*Definitely worthy of the queue

What I Learned From Watching ‘Pretty in Pink’—Netflix Queued

-The 80s were a great time

-Everyone needs a Duckie

-James Sapder is a very convincing douchebag

-Teenagers are much smarter than adults

-No matter what decade, there are always the same types of shitty people in high school

-You can somehow incorporate pink into every outfit you wear

-Missing out on romance in high school isn’t a bad thing

-80s hairstyles need to come back. Right. Now

*Definitely worthy of the queue

What I Learned From Watching ‘World War Z’—Netflix Queued
-Brad Pitt needs a haircut
-Fast zombies are scarier than slow moving zombies even though fast moving zombies look really silly
-The only thing the movie and the book have in common is the title
-Zombie doggie piles are actually quite amusing
-Satellite phones are a bitch
-In any apocalyptic situation, Brad Pitt will inevitably save the day
*You can let it rest in your queue for a while

What I Learned From Watching ‘World War Z’—Netflix Queued

-Brad Pitt needs a haircut

-Fast zombies are scarier than slow moving zombies even though fast moving zombies look really silly

-The only thing the movie and the book have in common is the title

-Zombie doggie piles are actually quite amusing

-Satellite phones are a bitch

-In any apocalyptic situation, Brad Pitt will inevitably save the day

*You can let it rest in your queue for a while